Joey Villarama…Who?

Two things made the Ultra Tragedy coverage especially difficult for me: (1) seeing dead people (obviously not one… but at least 60 cadavers!) around me, and (2) having to go on live television with all those dead people around me.

                                                        -o0o-

I love watching the "American Idol" preliminaries and usually scoff at contestants who forget even the simplest of lyrics because of… "a bad case of nerves," as they call it.  Ano kaya yun, I would tell myself.  Well, I apologize to those people for being judgmental.  The so-called "bad case of nerves" does exist after all.

I realized this when I did my first live reportage on television.  I remember it clearly… it was 28 March 2005, the day my nephew was born.  I was deployed to San Fernando, Pampanga for a Central Luzon-wide transport strike.  I had no idea how important the story was until an ENG (electronic news gathering) van was sent to where I was. I mean, every story is big, but not all are "liveable."

So there I was, standing in front of a camera which I had done many times before; the only difference this time was that the camera was hooked up to a microwave satellite that will beam the broadcast to the entire Philippines and (no thanks to TFC), the entire world!  Well, I knew not everybody was going to see me, but the thought of being on nationwide television and the possibility of clamming up big time was very real!

I forgot how I did, except that my hands and voice were really shaking; but I went on the air 6 times that morning (2 for "Magandang Umaga," once for "News Central Morning," once each for ANC News 8AM and 10AM and once for  10AM news advisory on ABS-CBN).  In hindsight, my field producer said my "performance" wasn’t bad for a first timer.  But back to my point, going on live and the thought of screwing up on television really makes you want to melt and bury your head underground like an ostrich.  Nakaka-tense…sobra!

 -o0o-

A lot of people (the mean ones, in patricular), would probably say, "The first time is excusable, eh bakit pag nagla-live ka, hanggang ngayon nanginginig pa rin yung kamay mo."  Of course, I have reasons.  Pasmado ako.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have perennial "sweaty hands."  It has been one of my biggest problems, pushing my social skills a notch lower. 

In our parish, where I serve as a  lector and commentator for Holy Mass, I find it embarassing to hold hands with people during the singing of the "Our Father."  The Ministers of Communion might be under the impression that I am a social snob, not wanting to descend to their box and hold hands with them.  Well, in the many occasions they have held hands with me or have seen me take the commentator’s lectern, they now know why I am hesitant to hold hands with them.  Kulang pa ang isang rolyo ng toilet paper to keep my hands dry.

I have sought professional help but of the topical remedies prescribed to me, nothing seems to work.  The only other options I have are to have botox injections on my palms and nerve surgery, which are very, very expensive and do not guarantee a 100% success rate.   So much for my hyperhidrosis  (excessive or profuse perspiration; also called polyhidrosis) problem.

Sobrang digression na ito. Pasensya na sa English teachers….

                                                                   -o0o-

The other reason why I still appear to be nervous on live-cam is because I AM nervous.  Broadcast journalist Mr. Ed Lingao, who used to work for ABS-CBN, has a station plug for ABC News and Public Affairs where he says, "Pag reporter ka at hindi ka na nahihiya, mahiya ka na," or something like that.  Somebody at my Commentators and Lectors Group in our parish also told me the exact, same thing.  When you go up there (lector’s ambo) and feel too confident, mali na yun.  God knows how many times I have wet the podium’s surface and the hand-held microphone at Holy Family Parish because of the perspiration from my hands…

I know I still have a lot to learn in broadcasting and I know it will take many more years and much psyching to have the confidence of a Korina Sanchez or Noli de Castro.  But at least people see and know that I am capable of being nervous, capable of committing mistakes and capable of being…human.  Ganun naman talaga di ba?  Only God is perfect! Amen!

TO BE CONTINUED… NA NAMAN!!!

MESSAGE OF HIS HOLINESS
BENEDICT XVI
FOR LENT 2006

“Jesus, at the sight of the
crowds, was moved with pity”  (Mt
9:36)

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Lent is a privileged time of interior pilgrimage towards Him
Who is the fount of mercy.  It is a pilgrimage in which He Himself accompanies
us through the desert of our poverty, sustaining us on our way towards the
intense joy of Easter.  Even in the “valley of darkness” of which the Psalmist
speaks (Ps 23:4), while the tempter prompts us to despair or to place a
vain hope in the work of our own hands, God is there to guard us and sustain
us.  Yes, even today the Lord hears the cry of the multitudes longing for joy,
peace, and love.  As in every age, they feel abandoned.  Yet, even in the
desolation of misery, loneliness, violence and hunger that indiscriminately
afflict children, adults, and the elderly, God does not allow darkness to
prevail.  In fact, in the words of my beloved Predecessor, Pope John Paul II,
there is a “divine limit imposed upon evil”, namely, mercy (Memory and
Identity, pp. 19ff.).  It is with these thoughts in mind that I have chosen
as my theme for this Message the Gospel text: “Jesus, at the sight of the
crowds, was moved with pity” (Mt 9:36).   

In this light, I would like to pause and reflect upon an
issue much debated today: the question of development.  Even now, the
compassionate “gaze” of Christ continues to fall upon individuals and peoples. 
He watches them, knowing that the divine “plan” includes their call to
salvation.  Jesus knows the perils that put this plan at risk, and He is moved
with pity for the crowds.  He chooses to defend them from the wolves even at the
cost of His own life.  The gaze of Jesus embraces individuals and multitudes,
and he brings them all before the Father, offering Himself as a sacrifice of
expiation.

Enlightened by this Paschal truth, the Church knows that if
we are to promote development in its fulness, our own “gaze” upon mankind has to
be measured against that of Christ.  In fact, it is quite impossible to separate
the response to people’s material and social needs from the fulfilment of the
profound desires of their hearts.  This has to be emphasized all the more in
today’s rapidly changing world, in which our responsibility towards the poor
emerges with ever greater clarity and urgency.  My venerable Predecessor, Pope
Paul VI, accurately described the scandal of underdevelopment as an outrage
against humanity.  In this sense, in the Encyclical
Populorum Progressio,
he denounced “the lack of
material necessities for those who are without the minimum essential for life,
the moral deficiencies of those who are mutilated by selfishness” and
“oppressive social structures, whether due to the abuses of ownership or to the
abuses of power, to the exploitation of workers or to unjust transactions”  (ibid., 21).  As the antidote to such evil,
Paul VI suggested not only “increased esteem for the dignity of others, the
turning towards the spirit of poverty, cooperation for the common good, the will
and desire for peace”, but also “the acknowledgement by man of supreme values,
and of God, their source and their finality” (ibid.).  In this vein, the
Pope went on to propose that,  finally and above all, there is
“faith, a gift of God accepted by the good will of man, and unity in the charity
of Christ” (ibid.).  Thus, the “gaze” of Christ
upon the crowd impels us to affirm the true content of this “complete humanism”
that, according to Paul VI, consists in the “fully-rounded
development of the whole man and of all men” (ibid.,
42).  For this reason, the primary contribution that the Church offers to the
development of mankind and peoples does not consist merely in material means or
technical solutions.  Rather, it involves the proclamation of the truth of
Christ, Who educates consciences and teaches the authentic dignity of the person
and of work;  it means the promotion of a culture that truly responds to all the
questions of humanity.

In the face of the terrible
challenge of poverty afflicting so much of the world’s population, indifference
and self-centered isolation stand in stark contrast to the “gaze” of Christ. 
Fasting and almsgiving, which, together with prayer, the Church proposes in a
special way during the Lenten Season, are suitable means for us to become
conformed to this “gaze”.  The examples of the saints and the long history of
the Church’s missionary activity provide invaluable indications of the most
effective ways to support development.  Even in this era of global
interdependence, it is clear that no economic, social, or political project can
replace that gift of self to another through which charity is expressed.  Those
who act according to the logic of the Gospel live the faith as friendship with
God Incarnate and, like Him, bear the burden of the material and spiritual needs
of their neighbours.  They see it as an inexhaustible mystery, worthy of
infinite care and attention.  They know that he who does not give God gives too
little; as Blessed Teresa of Calcutta frequently observed, the worst poverty is
not to know Christ.  Therefore, we must help others to find God in the merciful
face of Christ.  Without this perspective, civilization lacks a solid
foundation.

Thanks to men and women obedient to the Holy Spirit, many
forms of charitable work intended to promote development have arisen in the
Church: hospitals, universities, professional formation schools, and small
businesses.  Such initiatives demonstrate the genuine humanitarian concern of
those moved by the Gospel message, far in advance of other forms of social
welfare.  These charitable activities point out the way to achieve a
globalization that is focused upon the true good of mankind and, hence, the path
towards authentic peace.  Moved like Jesus with compassion for the crowds, the
Church today considers it her duty to ask political leaders and those with
economic and financial power to promote development based on respect for the
dignity of every man and woman.  An important litmus test for the success of
their efforts is religious liberty, understood not simply as the freedom to
proclaim and celebrate Christ, but also the opportunity to contribute to the
building of a world enlivened by charity.  These efforts have to include a
recognition of the central role of authentic religious values in responding to
man’s deepest concerns, and in supplying the ethical motivation for his personal
and social responsibilities.  These are the criteria by which Christians should
assess the political programmes of their leaders.

We cannot ignore the fact that many mistakes have been made
in the course of history by those who claimed to be disciples of Jesus.  Very
often, when having to address grave problems, they have thought that they should
first improve this world and only afterwards turn their minds to the next.  The
temptation was to believe that, in the face of urgent needs, the first
imperative was to change external structures.  The consequence, for some, was
that Christianity became a kind of moralism, ‘believing’ was replaced with
‘doing’.  Rightly, therefore, my Predecessor, Pope John Paul II, of blessed
memory, observed: “The temptation today is to reduce Christianity to merely
human wisdom, a pseudo-science of well-being.  In our heavily secularized world,
a ‘gradual secularization of salvation’ has taken place, so that people strive
for the good of man, but man who is truncated…We know, however, that Jesus came
to bring integral salvation” (Redemptoris Missio, 11).

It is this integral salvation that Lent puts before us,
pointing towards the victory of Christ over every evil that oppresses us.  In
turning to the Divine Master, in being converted to Him, in experiencing His
mercy through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we will discover a “gaze” that
searches us profoundly and gives new life to the crowds and to each one of us. 
It restores trust to those who do not succumb to scepticism, opening up before
them the perspective of eternal beatitude.  Throughout history, even when hate
seems to prevail, the luminous testimony of His love is never lacking.  To Mary,
“the living fount of hope” (Dante Alighieri, Paradiso, XXXIII, 12), we
entrust our Lenten journey, so that she may lead us to her Son.  I commend to
her in particular the multitudes who suffer poverty and cry out for help,
support, and understanding.  With these sentiments, I cordially impart to all of
you a special Apostolic Blessing.

From the Vatican, 29 September,
2005.

BENEDICTUS PP. XVI

VATICAN
      CITY, FEB 4, 2006 (VIS) - Cardinal Secretary of State Angelo Sodano has sent a telegram in the Pope’s name to Bishop Francisco C. San Diego of
     Pasig, Philippines, for the many people who died in a stampede following a bomb alert at a sports stadium in Pasig, a suburb of the Filipino capital, Manila.
      
      

"Deeply saddened by the news of 
the tragic loss of life in Pasig, the Holy Father offers his prayers for 
all those affected by this terrible accident. In a special way His Holiness asks Almighty God to grant solace to the injured and to those who 
are mourning the loss of their loved ones. Entrusting you and your people to the protection 
of Mary queen of peace, the Holy Father imparts his apostolic blessing as a pledge of strength and comfort in the Lord."

February 4th was not an ordinary news day.

Well, at least I prayed for it to be, being a Saturday and all.  Saturdays are usually lackluster coverage days for me and my crew.  On weekends, I begin my duty at 8AM and I usually get deployed to DZMM, yes, the radio station just across the TV Newsroom, to interview Vice President de Castro’s regular Saturday radio program guests.  I didn’t think February 4th was going to be any special, so I took my time preparing for what I thought was going to be a boring duty.

The ABS-CBN Compound is a good 5-minute drive from our house but give and take a
few distractions or delays, it could take one up to 15 minutes to get there.  That is why I make it a point to leave the house a good
20 minutes before the actual start of my duty.   That Saturday, I pulled out of the driveway by 7:40AM.  As I left the house, I received a text message from our desk editor, Paul Espiritu saying, "Paki-fast forward ng konti. Nagkakagulo raw sa Ultra, sa Wowowee."  I was already making a U-turn under the Kamuning flyover fronting GMA-7 when I received another message from Paul, "Teka, sa Manila Hotel ka na lang, may tumalon daw." By 7:50, I was already at the basement of the ELJ Communications Center, parking the car.  Paul then sent me a third message, "Balik ka na lang ULTRA, ready na crew mo."  As I made my way to the main building’s lobby, Paul called me to ask me where I was. I told him I was already at the lobby and that I already made visual contact with my crew. 

My crew and I pulled out of the ABS-CBN compound a little after 8AM and we really did not anticipate the magnitude of what we were about to cover. We tuned in to DZMM as we proceeded to the site.  As I listened to the initial reports being relayed by Radyo Patrol #36 Edwin Sevidal, that there were 24 dead bodies in front of him, I could not imagine how and why  such a thing could have happened. 

There was heavy traffic along the EDSA-Kamuning flyover so I was a little fidgety, worrying that we might not be able to film the bodies on-site.  For reporters who cover or used to cover the police beat, getting footage of the body on-site is a must. A body that is in the morgue is already stale footage.  Huli ka na sa balita…

Anyway, we arrived at Ortigas Avenue and proceeded to the ULTRA through the Department of Education complex’s entrance.  We started going on foot because vehicles were not moving and throngs began to occupy a big portion of the road.  We raced to the scene, asking guards and passersby where the actual site is.  Even before I could say, "Kuya, dito yung daan, maraming tao…," to my cameraman, there it was.  Doomsday had come.

In my one year as a reporter, I have never seen so many dead people all in one place.  I have become immune to the sight and smell of the dead but nothing, no coverage could have prepared me for this one.  Amidst the wails and screams of the bereaved and those who were trying to make sense of what just transipred, I could only say to myself, "Ano ito, bakit nagkaganito?"

–oOo–

A few days before, we were asked by the desk to check out Capt. Javier Street, that very same street where the stampede took place, to try and locate a building on which Former President’s Estrada’s chopper would supposedly land en route to the San Juan Medical Center for his eye operation.  We passed by the ULTRA and saw quite a few (maybe 20) people camping outside the gates and waving at us.  Unaware that they were lining up for the anniversary show, I rolled down my window to see what it was about, thinking that the people there were only looking for a place to spend the night.  Then one of the men started singing the familiar "Wowowee" tune and it was then when I realized what they were there for.  Such dedication, I thought. Ang tiyaga nila to line up, only for a game show.  Sa bagay, people in different countries also camped out naman for the premiere screening of "StarWars, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings" naman. This is nothing out of the ordinary.

                                                               –oOo–

What made the coverage more difficult for me was to see all those old women, mga lola na natin, lying on the ground lifeless, the frozen expression on their faces becoming the sole witness and the living testimony to the actual pain and suffering they endured.

TO BE CONTINUED…